Latest SharePoint Jokes

Here's my latest attempt to lighten up the SharePoint community.  You can check out my blockbuster first of a kind 2007 jokes.

  • After installing SharePoint 2010 and running the Farm Configuration Wizard, IT found that users were not able to load Excel Workbooks in the browser.  When IT called Microsoft support, they replied:
    • "Ok, this is very good, this won't take a minute…"
  • What did Hostess Bread Company say to the SharePoint product team?
    • We charge extra for Service Application breadcrumbs
  • How many internal developers do you need to deploy a bad SharePoint Solution?
    • None, you only need a Site Collection admin to upload to the "Solutions" Gallery from codeplex
  • A developer had a monthly meeting with his manager and when the manager asked what he had been doing for the past month
    • He replied "Installing SharePoint 2010 on my Windows 7 Machine
  • An Microsoft Certified Trainer (MCT) was delivering a public SharePoint course and one of the students asks "Can you come to my office and train our company"
    • The MCT replies "I don't have 45 open training days in 2011"
  • A customer asked a consultant, "How long does a SharePoint backup take?"
    • The consultant replies, "Do you actually want it to restore successfully?"  
  • An Older SharePoint 2010 Farm was just sitting around responding to HTTP Requests, when all of a sudden the Farm stopped responding.  The Administrator immediately asks, "What's wrong Farm?" , the Farm responds, "I forgot all the managed accounts passwords can you help me sonny?"
  • What did the lazy SQL server say to the SharePoint Farm?
    • I have to host *how* many databases, can't you just put these on DB/2?
  •  An End User was told by his management to tag all content appropriately and to ensure that he ranks all the data.  A week later the manager calls the employee in and the employee sees an HR rep in the room.  The Manager asks "I'm sure you know why you are here?".  The employee says "No, Sir".  The manager says "What is this tag called sh*t with a rank of 1 on your collegues content?". 
    • The employee responds, "You told me to tag everything appropriately"
  • A CTO saw a cool demo of SharePoint 2010 and decided to convert his internal Lotus Notes applications to SharePoint, when he asked the Microsoft Sales rep what product he would need, they replied, "Well….you'll need this, this, this, this and this, one of these and this, but if you upgrade to an EA agreement, then it will only be $40,000 more and I'll throw this picture of Steve Balmer in for free"
  • An End User was filling out a BCS External List new item form and was getting an error when saving. 
    • After calling the helpdesk the helpdesk replied, you are doing it wrong, you can't type "Alaska", you have to type "1"!!
  • What did one child SPPersisted object say to another? 
    • Hey, do you know where my parent went?
  • What did the JavaScript and JScript say to the SharePoint ECMA script? 
    • When did you get a legal name change?
  • What did the SP WCF service say to the client when it errored? 
    • Don't tell me no lies and I won't tell you any details!
  • Police were called to a technology company on Wednesday for a mysterious death. 
    • After interviewing witnesses investigators found out an IT person attempted to configured SharePoint 2010 User Profile services and then proceeded to jump out a 5-story window.
  • What did SharePoint say to the SQL Server? 
    • HELLOCAN-YOUC-REAT-EADA-TABASEFORME?
  • A hacker was asked how much he would charge to steal information from a company.  He replies, "it depends".  The inquirer asks "on what".  The hacker replies, "On the technology".  The inquirer says "it is a SharePoint
    Farm".  The Hacker says in his best Thai-land voice, "Easy, five-dollar"!
  • One day two older SharePoint ghosts were talking to each other about the upcoming upgrade to 2010.
    • Ghost 1: "Hey, did you hear about the new guy?"  Ghost 2: "No, what about him?"  Ghost 1: "I heard he just got de-rezed!"
  • What did SharePoint 2010 say to the 2007 content database? 
    • "I'm putting you on the RBS diet plan"

       

  • What did the Hyper-V team ask the VMWare team? 
    • Can you help us?
  • How many IT guys does it take to install SharePoint?
    • I'd say one, but Spencer Harbars is too good to do any *real* work, so the real answer is 4 SharePoint MVPs, 25 SharePoint Microsoft Consulting Services guys, and half the SharePoint Product Team
  • What did one SharePoint Saturday say to another?
    • I'll trade you this MVP for that MVP… 

 

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