Tag: sharepoint jokes

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2012 SharePoint Jokes

Time for some more SharePoint jokes!

  • What did Office Word 2010 say to SharePoint 2010 Word Automation Services?
    • When can I retire?
  • There was a party going on in the content database, and several SharePoint groups were invited.  The pick-up question of the night was…
    • What site collection you from?
  • What percentage of code is Microsoft's after installing all 3rd party components to support your business?
    • <5%
  • A security firm recently asked SharePoint customers what was their major pain with SharePoint security?  The customer replied…knowing what permissions SharePoint decides to give you at any moment in time!
  • A customer recently was migrating from Oracle Portal to SharePoint 2010. After the migration, the customer asked, where'd all my features go?
  • How did the IT Pro reset the passwords on their SharePoint Farm?
    • They reinstalled everything!
  • What did one SharePoint user tell another user…?
    • Hey, if we yell enough, we can get SharePoint Designer access!
  • On average, how many SharePoint consultant firms till you find a good one?
    • Not including MCS?
  • What will you find if you look in the recycle bin?
    • A hole
  • What happens if you program Project Service Interface (PSI)?
    • Absolutely nothing
  • How many times does it take to setup Document IDs?
    • Lost count at 100…
  • How many customer actually use Document IDs?
    • One – Microsoft
  • What happens when you setup the content type hub?
    • You get lots of errors
  • How many SharePoint developers do you need to support your business units custom needs?
    • Half of China
  • How many SharePoint MVPs earned their MVP from posting on the MSDN Forums?
    • Wait…they know what the forums are?
  • What did the Oracle WebCenter customers tell Oracle after looking at Microsoft Pricing?
    • Why do you make us pay so much?
  • Why did Seattle lose the SuperSonics? 
    • Because SharePoint Designer is FREE and Baller isn't Jewish…and lattes cost $5 and Shultz is Jewish…and neither of them are from Oklahoma!

Bad, but oh so good…
CJG

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Latest SharePoint Jokes

Here's my latest attempt to lighten up the SharePoint community.  You can check out my blockbuster first of a kind 2007 jokes.

  • After installing SharePoint 2010 and running the Farm Configuration Wizard, IT found that users were not able to load Excel Workbooks in the browser.  When IT called Microsoft support, they replied:
    • "Ok, this is very good, this won't take a minute…"
  • What did Hostess Bread Company say to the SharePoint product team?
    • We charge extra for Service Application breadcrumbs
  • How many internal developers do you need to deploy a bad SharePoint Solution?
    • None, you only need a Site Collection admin to upload to the "Solutions" Gallery from codeplex
  • A developer had a monthly meeting with his manager and when the manager asked what he had been doing for the past month
    • He replied "Installing SharePoint 2010 on my Windows 7 Machine
  • An Microsoft Certified Trainer (MCT) was delivering a public SharePoint course and one of the students asks "Can you come to my office and train our company"
    • The MCT replies "I don't have 45 open training days in 2011"
  • A customer asked a consultant, "How long does a SharePoint backup take?"
    • The consultant replies, "Do you actually want it to restore successfully?"  
  • An Older SharePoint 2010 Farm was just sitting around responding to HTTP Requests, when all of a sudden the Farm stopped responding.  The Administrator immediately asks, "What's wrong Farm?" , the Farm responds, "I forgot all the managed accounts passwords can you help me sonny?"
  • What did the lazy SQL server say to the SharePoint Farm?
    • I have to host *how* many databases, can't you just put these on DB/2?
  •  An End User was told by his management to tag all content appropriately and to ensure that he ranks all the data.  A week later the manager calls the employee in and the employee sees an HR rep in the room.  The Manager asks "I'm sure you know why you are here?".  The employee says "No, Sir".  The manager says "What is this tag called sh*t with a rank of 1 on your collegues content?". 
    • The employee responds, "You told me to tag everything appropriately"
  • A CTO saw a cool demo of SharePoint 2010 and decided to convert his internal Lotus Notes applications to SharePoint, when he asked the Microsoft Sales rep what product he would need, they replied, "Well….you'll need this, this, this, this and this, one of these and this, but if you upgrade to an EA agreement, then it will only be $40,000 more and I'll throw this picture of Steve Balmer in for free"
  • An End User was filling out a BCS External List new item form and was getting an error when saving. 
    • After calling the helpdesk the helpdesk replied, you are doing it wrong, you can't type "Alaska", you have to type "1"!!
  • What did one child SPPersisted object say to another? 
    • Hey, do you know where my parent went?
  • What did the JavaScript and JScript say to the SharePoint ECMA script? 
    • When did you get a legal name change?
  • What did the SP WCF service say to the client when it errored? 
    • Don't tell me no lies and I won't tell you any details!
  • Police were called to a technology company on Wednesday for a mysterious death. 
    • After interviewing witnesses investigators found out an IT person attempted to configured SharePoint 2010 User Profile services and then proceeded to jump out a 5-story window.
  • What did SharePoint say to the SQL Server? 
    • HELLOCAN-YOUC-REAT-EADA-TABASEFORME?
  • A hacker was asked how much he would charge to steal information from a company.  He replies, "it depends".  The inquirer asks "on what".  The hacker replies, "On the technology".  The inquirer says "it is a SharePoint
    Farm".  The Hacker says in his best Thai-land voice, "Easy, five-dollar"!
  • One day two older SharePoint ghosts were talking to each other about the upcoming upgrade to 2010.
    • Ghost 1: "Hey, did you hear about the new guy?"  Ghost 2: "No, what about him?"  Ghost 1: "I heard he just got de-rezed!"
  • What did SharePoint 2010 say to the 2007 content database? 
    • "I'm putting you on the RBS diet plan"

       

  • What did the Hyper-V team ask the VMWare team? 
    • Can you help us?
  • How many IT guys does it take to install SharePoint?
    • I'd say one, but Spencer Harbars is too good to do any *real* work, so the real answer is 4 SharePoint MVPs, 25 SharePoint Microsoft Consulting Services guys, and half the SharePoint Product Team
  • What did one SharePoint Saturday say to another?
    • I'll trade you this MVP for that MVP… 

 

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SharePoint Jokes

Since it hasn't been done yet, I thought I would create some funny jokes around SharePoint…enjoy:

What did one sharepoint site say to another sharepoint site? 
    Hey, aren't we called webs?

What did the end user say to the developer?
    Oh, I didn't create that column, I was smart, I just renamed the "title" column!

What did one sharepoint web developer say to the asp.net developer?
    Why me?

What did the production portal say to the author portal?
    I'm sorry, I can't seem to find your object!

What did the parent content type say to the child content type?
    I won't give you my jeans, but I'll buy you another pair just like them and we can share!

How many people does it take to create a web part?
    two, one to write the code, another to figure out the permissions problem in production!

How many times does it take to create a Shared Service Provider?
    3, one time to screw it up without knowing it, twice to do it because sharepoint won't do right the second time and
the third after you have blown away everything and started over!

What did the server admin say to the sharepoint web developer?
    Why can't we just do this with static html?

what did the sharepoint 2003 environment tell the sharepoint 2007 environment?
    Don't worry, reboot will still fix everything.

What did the sharepoint admin do to fix an "Unexpected Error has occured"
    Delete sharepoint and start again!

What did one w3wp process say to the other?
    Hey, can I borrow one of your SPSite's?  You have plenty!       

One day a user called the helpdesk, no one answered.  Being that he was in the helpdesk office he walked down and asked the admin why they weren't answering.
She simply stated, they quit when they heard we were implementing sharepoint!

A consultant was asked to build an estimate for a SharePoint two layer approval workflow with SharePoint Designer. 
The consultant never replied.  When asked "why", he simply stated, "Impossible".