Latest SharePoint Jokes

Here's my latest attempt to lighten up the SharePoint community.  You can check out my blockbuster first of a kind 2007 jokes.

  • After installing SharePoint 2010 and running the Farm Configuration Wizard, IT found that users were not able to load Excel Workbooks in the browser.  When IT called Microsoft support, they replied:
    • "Ok, this is very good, this won't take a minute…"
  • What did Hostess Bread Company say to the SharePoint product team?
    • We charge extra for Service Application breadcrumbs
  • How many internal developers do you need to deploy a bad SharePoint Solution?
    • None, you only need a Site Collection admin to upload to the "Solutions" Gallery from codeplex
  • A developer had a monthly meeting with his manager and when the manager asked what he had been doing for the past month
    • He replied "Installing SharePoint 2010 on my Windows 7 Machine
  • An Microsoft Certified Trainer (MCT) was delivering a public SharePoint course and one of the students asks "Can you come to my office and train our company"
    • The MCT replies "I don't have 45 open training days in 2011"
  • A customer asked a consultant, "How long does a SharePoint backup take?"
    • The consultant replies, "Do you actually want it to restore successfully?"  
  • An Older SharePoint 2010 Farm was just sitting around responding to HTTP Requests, when all of a sudden the Farm stopped responding.  The Administrator immediately asks, "What's wrong Farm?" , the Farm responds, "I forgot all the managed accounts passwords can you help me sonny?"
  • What did the lazy SQL server say to the SharePoint Farm?
    • I have to host *how* many databases, can't you just put these on DB/2?
  •  An End User was told by his management to tag all content appropriately and to ensure that he ranks all the data.  A week later the manager calls the employee in and the employee sees an HR rep in the room.  The Manager asks "I'm sure you know why you are here?".  The employee says "No, Sir".  The manager says "What is this tag called sh*t with a rank of 1 on your collegues content?". 
    • The employee responds, "You told me to tag everything appropriately"
  • A CTO saw a cool demo of SharePoint 2010 and decided to convert his internal Lotus Notes applications to SharePoint, when he asked the Microsoft Sales rep what product he would need, they replied, "Well….you'll need this, this, this, this and this, one of these and this, but if you upgrade to an EA agreement, then it will only be $40,000 more and I'll throw this picture of Steve Balmer in for free"
  • An End User was filling out a BCS External List new item form and was getting an error when saving. 
    • After calling the helpdesk the helpdesk replied, you are doing it wrong, you can't type "Alaska", you have to type "1"!!
  • What did one child SPPersisted object say to another? 
    • Hey, do you know where my parent went?
  • What did the JavaScript and JScript say to the SharePoint ECMA script? 
    • When did you get a legal name change?
  • What did the SP WCF service say to the client when it errored? 
    • Don't tell me no lies and I won't tell you any details!
  • Police were called to a technology company on Wednesday for a mysterious death. 
    • After interviewing witnesses investigators found out an IT person attempted to configured SharePoint 2010 User Profile services and then proceeded to jump out a 5-story window.
  • What did SharePoint say to the SQL Server? 
  • A hacker was asked how much he would charge to steal information from a company.  He replies, "it depends".  The inquirer asks "on what".  The hacker replies, "On the technology".  The inquirer says "it is a SharePoint
    Farm".  The Hacker says in his best Thai-land voice, "Easy, five-dollar"!
  • One day two older SharePoint ghosts were talking to each other about the upcoming upgrade to 2010.
    • Ghost 1: "Hey, did you hear about the new guy?"  Ghost 2: "No, what about him?"  Ghost 1: "I heard he just got de-rezed!"
  • What did SharePoint 2010 say to the 2007 content database? 
    • "I'm putting you on the RBS diet plan"


  • What did the Hyper-V team ask the VMWare team? 
    • Can you help us?
  • How many IT guys does it take to install SharePoint?
    • I'd say one, but Spencer Harbars is too good to do any *real* work, so the real answer is 4 SharePoint MVPs, 25 SharePoint Microsoft Consulting Services guys, and half the SharePoint Product Team
  • What did one SharePoint Saturday say to another?
    • I'll trade you this MVP for that MVP… 


SharePoint 2010 Delegated Administration

Have been wanting to try this for a while now and just now got some time to do it today.  The Central Administration site is just a SharePoint site with libraries and links, so I was curious what would happen if you were added to the site as a simple reader.  Here's the results:

As a reader and contributor, you do not gain access to Central administration and you will get the access denied error message.  The real magic comes in being in a specifically names group, there are two groups in the SCA:

  • Farm Administrators
  • Delegated Administrators

Full Control, Contributor and Read permission levels have no role to play in the links on the SCA.  What does matter is what group you reside in.  Being a Farm Administrator allows you to do anything in the SCA.  Being a Delegated lets you do a subset of actions, one of the items you cannot do is to create new Web Applications, but when it comes to the majority of other things, you can do them!  The thing that I would be more insterested in how one would target the links in Quick Launch to specific people.  IE, something like the following:

  • Web Application manager
  • Service Account Manager
  • Service Application Manager (like a global service app manager role rather than manually apply to each one)
  • Backup Restore Manager
  • Content Deployment Manager

Service applications have a completed different architecture to them.  Each service application can have an "Administrator" assigned to it.  I found a great article that describes this process here:

However, this also doesn't have much in terms of granular controls.  Its all or nothing for most of them.  These need more granular controls setup for them.  Security seems to be an afterthought in SharePoint, has been, probably always will be.


Records Center and Document Sets

Got this question asked last week for the second time.  What happens when you submit a document set to a record center?  Can you even do it?  Answers please!  Here we go…

Can you submit a document set to a records center? 

  • Yes!  it is not the typical "Send To->" menu in the drop down, but it does say "Send to another location", then you are presented your send to options. The directory is turned into a ZIP file and submitted!  Jury is still out on if this is a good way to go or not.

What happens if the document set is versioned?  Do the versions get submitted? 

  • No, only the latest version is submitted to the records center.  However, when the record is submitted, if it has the same name as another "record" it will get a unique ID appended to the record's file name.  This means that on top of every version that you submit and approve, you will also need to submit the record to the record center to keep track of its progress.  It will not move automatically if you don't do this.

 What will happen if you submit a document set with a document set?

  • You can't put a document set inside another document set.  At least, not with the UI anyway.  NOTE:  A document set is a folder, folders CAN contain folders and with some database magic you can make this occur. 

Therefore, what happens when you have a document set with a folder and/or a zip file in it? 

  • Simiarly, you can't add folders to a document set! You can however add a zip file to the document set, this works simiarly to simply adding a zip to a zip.  NOTE:  The zipping code is calling .NET Packaging and that's why you get the extra items like "_rels" and "resources" in the file.  I do a similar call in my course bulider tool

Can you rate a Document Set?

  • No, just like folders, you cannot rate a document set

Can you rate documents in a Document Set?

  • Yes, a document set is just like a folder and therefore any document inside of it can be rated.